[ She wasn't sure what Ichigo planned to ask, but that was not it. Her eyes widen as he continues, knowing that it wouldn't have been easy, but how keenly he feels this...it's like a mix of betrayal and regret but also knowing that he kept true to his word.
She feels for him, she does. So much.
Orihime bows her head for a moment as she searches for the right words--she wants to ease his pain, but she knows that he also deserves her honesty. He already cares so much for the safety of his friends, she never once wanted to add to that burden he carries for her own well-being. But simply saying that "it's fine and don't worry" won't help him at all. ]
...I hate it.
[ She laughs, a little tired, looking back up to his face. ]
I know that probably isn't the right thing to say, but...I also know that just saying "I do it because I have to" is kind of obvious, isn't it? You do so many things because you must, Kurosaki-kun. But...every time you go off--every time I see any one of our friends go into battle and I find my place on the sidelines? It--...it eats me up. All I want to do is rush in there and help however I can, to protect and support the people I care about just as much!
[ It's an admission of sorts on her part and she really hopes it doesn't come off as her putting any blame on him for it. ]
I used to think it was because I wasn't good enough, that I was too weak to make a difference and that whatever I did would just be a burden on you or anyone else. But...I also have learned that there are other ways of doing that--of helping. Of fighting. That we know so many wonderful people who would only want the same for us, to live and see another day so we can try again tomorrow. It's because of you--of them that I can hope and trust. And that feels good, doesn't it? You're not leaving someone behind or letting them down...they are giving you the opportunity to come back even stronger. Because you would do the same for them.
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She feels for him, she does. So much.
Orihime bows her head for a moment as she searches for the right words--she wants to ease his pain, but she knows that he also deserves her honesty. He already cares so much for the safety of his friends, she never once wanted to add to that burden he carries for her own well-being. But simply saying that "it's fine and don't worry" won't help him at all. ]
...I hate it.
[ She laughs, a little tired, looking back up to his face. ]
I know that probably isn't the right thing to say, but...I also know that just saying "I do it because I have to" is kind of obvious, isn't it? You do so many things because you must, Kurosaki-kun. But...every time you go off--every time I see any one of our friends go into battle and I find my place on the sidelines? It--...it eats me up. All I want to do is rush in there and help however I can, to protect and support the people I care about just as much!
[ It's an admission of sorts on her part and she really hopes it doesn't come off as her putting any blame on him for it. ]
I used to think it was because I wasn't good enough, that I was too weak to make a difference and that whatever I did would just be a burden on you or anyone else. But...I also have learned that there are other ways of doing that--of helping. Of fighting. That we know so many wonderful people who would only want the same for us, to live and see another day so we can try again tomorrow. It's because of you--of them that I can hope and trust. And that feels good, doesn't it? You're not leaving someone behind or letting them down...they are giving you the opportunity to come back even stronger. Because you would do the same for them.