lastcomfort | [IC] Inbox @ deerington

[The concern on her face is enough to have Ichigo's grin dropping down a little. More of an apologetic smile, than anything, as he watches her pant from running.]

Nah... not with this being just like. My usual state of existence or whatever. [Joking aside and done with, he seems to get more serious as he frowns. His uninjured arm raises, left hand coming up to touch the dome where hers is, palm flattening against it.]

Sorry... I couldn't just sit this one out. But... I thought of you, when I realized I couldn't... [It's one rough pill to have to swallow, knowing you had to turn tail and abandon your bloodthirsty friend because there was no way you were gonna win that fight. He's found himself once again swimming in an ocean of wounded pride and straight up guilt. But Ichigo burdens Orihime enough with his shit, so he's just gonna bury that deep and force his smile back up as he finishes his sentence.] No way in hell was I gonna break my word to you.

[ That look on his face...she knows it well. While she doesn't ever want Ichigo to look forlorn--to look sad in any way, she knows that it's born of a seriousness to protect and to be true to his word. And just as she thinks, he says it as if reading her own thoughts.

Her eyes fall to his hands on the other side of hers and she makes the motion of curling her fingers, though the shield stops it. Despite all his injuries, she's smiling.

Orihime shakes her head. ]

You don't need to apologize, Kurosaki-kun. I know that whenever something needs to be done, that you're going to do it. Because you're brave and your heart is so big, you want to carry the world with it. And I wouldn't have it any other way. I'm not ever going to stop you.

[ She lifts her gaze to look him right in the eyes in case he doubts what she says at all. ]

I just want to be there for you when you need me. And...you did! You called me. Of course I don't like seeing you hurt, but as long as you can make it back to me...I promise I will always help put you back together so you can keep doing what you love--protecting other people.

[His hand stays right in place, his smile a little more genuine at hearing her words.]

I know. I know I can always count on you, and that you know how important it is to me. That's why you're--[There's a sensation in his arm that has him looking down at it, and man is it a weird sight to watch a bone that threatens to protrude out of your skin just. Correct itself, as if nothing ever happened to begin with. Orihime has rejected all sorts of injuries on him before, but this one is a first.

It kind of derails his thoughts, though, and Ichigo has to scrape his brain to get back to where they were before his attention was drawn elsewhere.

He really should try to sleep, holy shit.]

Y'know, it's really unrealistic, but I hope that one day, we get to a place where I don't have to throw myself into fights. A place of peace, where everyone is just safe. Happy. Cause I know you don't like seeing me hurt... I can see it on your face, every time. That... that hurts more than any wound I could end up with... and I ah... [OH jeez why is it so hard to keep eye contact and say something like this?! He can feel the heat rising to his cheeks as he forces himself to hold her gaze.] I'd rather see your smile, Inoue.

[ Hearing that--hearing that from him is everything. The way he looks at her so sincerely as he does, trying his best to convey his feelings. Ichigo is both unsure of his words and has a powerful command of them when he doesn't overthink it, crumbling the strength that she has been trying to portray over her worries.

Which is why, unsurprisingly, the more he goes on the more she starts to tear up. And yet, she smiles through it. ]

Y-You--

[ Orihime know she doesn't like to see her cry so she does her best not to, but it's a losing battle. ]

--you always make me smile, K-Kurosaki-k-kun. The times that I'm not...I'm just getting ready for another! And I hope for that too. That's...that's what all this is for...right? It has to be.

[Watching the tears well up, he's biting back the urge to point out that he makes her cry just as much as he makes her smile... but that's a circle they've already walked, a thousand times. Bringing it up, even jokingly, is just going to make her feel bad for something she just can't help.

So he just nods, trying to be as reassuring as he can.]

Right. And I'm gonna keep fighting, until that day comes. For that day.

[He looks down to the deep wound on his chest, watching it as it disappears. The cheerful front he had fading a little, as he thinks back to the fight he's just lost, miserably. Maybe if he'd had his full power, he might have been able to do something, but this month has been the worst for his power fluctuation.

All he can do is hope that someone can actually stop her, because Usagi--whoever she is now, is on a warpath, and he suspects that there will be a lot of people killed by the end of it. After a long moment, Ichigo looks up at Orihime again, tired eyes serious. Fingers against the shield flexing a little, as if trying to feel hers underneath it.]

Inoue, can I ask you something?

[ She nods, fully believe in him. She will always believe in him--he's always come through. His words are his conviction, as soon as they are voiced then they become reality. Orihime doesn't think that will change no matter the setting.

Yet when he speaks again, there's a new weight to his gaze. That his burdens become her own--that's all she asks.

Orihime nods again, then smiles. ]

You never need to ask to ask.

[Ichigo tries to meet that smile with his own, but he just. Can't. It's too serious to him.]

How.... how do you do it? [He hesitates, Ichigo doesn't want to be an asshole and offend her, but the reality is that Orihime has far more experience with having self preservation, sitting back and watching from the sidelines. Ichigo can count on one hand, the times he's had to do it... and most of them were the result of being forced to. To willingly step back is...

Hard. He genuinely wants to know, what she does to make it an easier pill to swallow... what she tells herself, to make it okay. Because this goes against every instinct he has.]

How do you sit back and just... watch? Because my first instinct, right now, is to go run right back into it to try again but... I know how that's gonna end. I lost, miserably, and I'm not gonna win it. I know it, and I made a promise I intend to keep... but it feels wrong, y'know? To just... put it in someone else's hands and hope... [Ichigo sighs, raising his now healed arm up so he can sort of toy with the hair at the back of his head. Almost nervously.] I just dunno how to suck it up, I guess...

[ She wasn't sure what Ichigo planned to ask, but that was not it. Her eyes widen as he continues, knowing that it wouldn't have been easy, but how keenly he feels this...it's like a mix of betrayal and regret but also knowing that he kept true to his word.

She feels for him, she does. So much.

Orihime bows her head for a moment as she searches for the right words--she wants to ease his pain, but she knows that he also deserves her honesty. He already cares so much for the safety of his friends, she never once wanted to add to that burden he carries for her own well-being. But simply saying that "it's fine and don't worry" won't help him at all. ]

...I hate it.

[ She laughs, a little tired, looking back up to his face. ]

I know that probably isn't the right thing to say, but...I also know that just saying "I do it because I have to" is kind of obvious, isn't it? You do so many things because you must, Kurosaki-kun. But...every time you go off--every time I see any one of our friends go into battle and I find my place on the sidelines? It--...it eats me up. All I want to do is rush in there and help however I can, to protect and support the people I care about just as much!

[ It's an admission of sorts on her part and she really hopes it doesn't come off as her putting any blame on him for it. ]

I used to think it was because I wasn't good enough, that I was too weak to make a difference and that whatever I did would just be a burden on you or anyone else. But...I also have learned that there are other ways of doing that--of helping. Of fighting. That we know so many wonderful people who would only want the same for us, to live and see another day so we can try again tomorrow. It's because of you--of them that I can hope and trust. And that feels good, doesn't it? You're not leaving someone behind or letting them down...they are giving you the opportunity to come back even stronger. Because you would do the same for them.

[No, honestly... her saying that she hates it is just the right thing. She isn't bullshitting him, she isn't sugar coating it to try to spare his feelings. Of course he feels bad, that his own actions have left her feeling useless, weak, not good enough at any point, but he also knows that that's not what her intentions are in telling him any of this. So that just gets shoved down with the rest of the things he will deal with later, and listens to everything she has to say.

His takeaway being... there isn't any getting rid of the shitty feeling, but he can focus on the part where he does feel good about not letting her down, about not hurting her heart yet again with his recklessness. Not only that... but he can hope that the fact that his being here still might ease some of her mirrored feelings on this, too. Because Orihime matters, so much, and it's because of that that he isn't leaving her to deal with the aftermath alone once again. He isn't leaving her here, feeling helpless and like there is nothing she can do to save him.

By the end of it, he's looking a little less tense, and he is absolutely sincere in what he says.]

...thanks. For telling it like it really is. Not sugar coating it. That's exactly what I needed to hear. [A finger taps against the shield as he pauses, considering what he wants to do next. He's pretty much fixed up, save for a couple of dings, but... this is way more important..] I'm good now... you can let me out.

[ There's a sense of relief when Ichigo takes it well--she thought that he might, but a part of her is always a little worried that she won't say the right thing. Speaking from the heart, though, should always be the right thing, shouldn't it?

Still, she smiles. She's glad it helped. ]

Okay.

[ The shield dissipates, her fairies returning to their position on her hairpin in a flash of light. Orihime lowers her hands to her lap, keeping Ichigo's gaze. ]

I want you to know, Kurosaki-kun...that I am so thankful and so proud. I know it was hard, and I also know that you'll only go back even stronger. But...I am just really, really glad that you came to me and that you came back whole.

[Yeah, what she says after the shield disappears only solidifies what he's going to do and say. Of course it has his stomach tightening in nervousness, as he reaches out to take one of her hands, but... they've kissed before. They've talked a bit about how they feel about each other... it's not a big freaking secret or surprise anymore. So... this should be fine, right? That's what he tells himself, to keep his nerve, anyway.

Ichigo uses his grip on her hand to tug her in towards him. When Orihime is close enough, he drops her hand so that he can wind his arms around around her center, pulling her the rest of the way to embrace her firmly. Naturally, he's already turned five different shades of red from the moment he took her hand to this point, but when he speaks lowly near her ear, it's even. Sure.]

Mostly whole, you mean. [Flat joke aside, he goes on without missing a beat.] It was hard, I almost couldn't do it, but... you're right. I can't say I feel good, exactly, but this makes it worth it.

[Seeing the relief that he was alive on her face when she'd first run up to him, as opposed to seeing even more tears because of the shock of losing him again... yeah. It was worth it, no matter how much it sucked to walk away from that.]

[ Orihime's eyes widen almost instantly when he takes her hands. It isn't the first time, no, but each time she suddenly feels warm and excited in the best ways. Knowing that--feeling that it might be okay that she does too is something she never would have expected. Hoped for? Yes. Daydreamed about? Constantly. But expected?

No way.

Yet Deerington has a way of blowing all her expectations out of the window, both good and bad.

This one, though? This one is good. Orihime pauses only to let her heart skip a beat before she wraps her arms around him too, holding him tightly. Her forehead rests against his shoulder and she smiles despite herself at his choke, determined not to cry, even if they are happy tears. ]

Your well-being is always worth it, Kurosaki-kun. And I promise that every wound you come to me with, I'll heal. What's going on now is terrifying, but...but I'm not scared. Because you're here.

[IC] Inbox @ deerington

and that in turn made me think of Mandela effect shit even tho Shaq's shti exists

LMFAO

cw: reverse... broken bone... description IDEK warning gross. Bigger CW for SAP

SAP is really more jarring

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more cheese to give you deserved good feels, friend

i love cheese ESPECIALLY this kind